Post by willydigger. FB inFamous on Dec 5, 2013 4:53:46 GMT -8
That Smurfing Forum is no bueno and HI SPONGBOB. - Kilroy Psychosis is refreshing like a cool glass o' lemonade. - T. YOU HAVE MY AXE, WILLARD DIGGERD OF WESTEROS, FIRST SON OF THE FROG KING - Q Where is the satisfaction in watching other people accomplish things? - Short Make woopy, make waffles make like the wind. - Roy
No need to be upset, The guys here will not judge you any more or any less now that they know how you spend your "free-time"
Just kidding, all said in fun!
I know dude. This isn't like the rest of the Internet. I don't really hate you, I'm just going to pretend to send a hitman after you.
That Smurfing Forum is no bueno and HI SPONGBOB. - Kilroy Psychosis is refreshing like a cool glass o' lemonade. - T. YOU HAVE MY AXE, WILLARD DIGGERD OF WESTEROS, FIRST SON OF THE FROG KING - Q Where is the satisfaction in watching other people accomplish things? - Short Make woopy, make waffles make like the wind. - Roy
Here's my second story......thanks story generator lolin for me It all started when our predictably heroic hero, Killroy, woke up in a lemur-infested moor. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling abnormally concerned, Killroy slapped a gerbil, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few unsatisfying minutes later, he realized that his beloved Flashlight was missing! Immediately he called his redheaded stepchild of a 'friend', Willdigger. Killroy had known Willdigger for (plus or minus) 153 years, the majority of which were saucy ones. Willdigger was unique. She was easygoing though sometimes a little... abrasive. Killroy called her anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Willdigger picked up to a very sad Killroy. Willdigger calmly assured him that most long-haired sea monkeys sigh before mating, yet venomous koalas usually exotically cringe *after* mating. She had no idea what that meant; she was only concerned with distracting Killroy. Why was Willdigger trying to distract Killroy? Because she had snuck out from Killroy's with the Flashlight only eight days prior. It was a saucy little Flashlight ... how could she resist?
It didn't take long before Killroy got back to the subject at hand: his Flashlight . Willdigger panicked. Relunctantly, Willdigger invited him over, assuring him they'd find the Flashlight . Killroy grabbed his canoe and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Willdigger realized that she was in trouble. She had to find a place to hide the Flashlight and she had to do it aimlessly. She figured that if Killroy took the Jap Trap, she had take at least three minutes before Killroy would get there. But if he took the Rainbows? Then Willdigger would be abundantly screwed.
Before she could come up with any reasonable ideas, Willdigger was interrupted by six selfish Bees that were lured by her Flashlight . Willdigger turned red; 'Not again', she thought. Feeling frustrated, she aptly reached for her ninja star and recklessly hit every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the fanstic pumpkin patch, squealing with discontent. She exhaled with relief. That's when she heard the Rainbows rolling up. It was Killroy.
----o0o----
As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at The Salvation Army to pick up a 12-pack of dull pencils, so he knew he was running late. With a apt leap, Killroy was out of the Rainbows and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Willdigger's front door. Meanwhile inside, Willdigger was panicking. Not thinking, she tossed the Flashlight into a box of dull pencils and then slid the box behind her canoe. Willdigger was puzzled but at least the Flashlight was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Willdigger wildly purred. With a calculated push, Killroy opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some clueless self-righteous ass in a deliciously practical 4-door,' he lied. 'It's fine,' Willdigger assured him. Killroy took a seat right next to where Willdigger had hidden the Flashlight . Willdigger belched trying unsuccessfully to hide her nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' she blurted. But Killroy was distracted. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, Willdigger noticed a annoying look on Killroy's face. Killroy slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Willdigger felt a stabbing pain in her scalp when Killroy asked this. In a moment of disbelief, she realized that she had hidden the Flashlight right by her oscillating fan. 'Wh-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A selfish look started to form on Killroy's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's dull pencils from when she used to have pet 3-legged wallabies. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Killroy nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Willdigger could react, Killroy skillfully lunged toward the box and opened it. The Flashlight was plainly in view.
Killroy stared at Willdigger for what what must've been six minutes. In a tragically predictable turn of events, Willdigger groped earnestly in Killroy's direction, clearly desperate. Killroy grabbed the Flashlight and bolted for the door. It was locked. Willdigger let out a saucy chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, Killroy,' she rebuked. Willdigger always had been a little dimwitted, so Killroy knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Willdigger did something crazy, like... start chucking bananas at her or something. Before the all-seeing eyes of a perpetually displeased diety, he gripped his Flashlight tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Willdigger looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from Killroy. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame eleven days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly she felt a tinge of concern for Killroy. 'Oh. You ..okay?' Still silence. Willdigger walked over to the window and looked down. Killroy was gone.
----o0o----
Just yonder, Killroy was struggling to make his way through the disease-infested jungle behind Willdigger's place. Killroy had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral Bees suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the Flashlight . One by one they latched on to Killroy. Already weakened from his injury, Killroy yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of Bees running off with his Flashlight .
About seven hours later, Killroy awoke, his shin throbbing. It was dark and Killroy did not know where he was. Deep in the mysterious fanstic pumpkin patch, Killroy was barely lost. In a tragically predictable turn of events, he remembered that his Flashlight was taken by the Bees. But at that point, he was just thankful for his life. That's when, to his horror, a bloated Bee emerged from the disease-infested jungle. It was the alpha Bee. Killroy opened his mouth to scream but was cut short when the Bee sunk its teeth into Killroy's ear. With a faint groan, the life escaped from Killroy's lungs, but not before he realized that he was a failure.
Less than nine miles away, Willdigger was entombed by anguish over the loss of the Flashlight . 'MY PRECIOUS!!' she cried, as she reached for a sharpened gerbil. With a deft thrust, she buried it deeply into her taint. As the room began to fade to black, she thought about Killroy... wishing she had found the courage to tell him that she loved him. But she would die alone that day. All that remained was the Flashlight that had turned them against each other, ultimately causing their demise. And as the dew on melancholy sappling branches began to reflect the dawn's reddish glare, all that could be heard was the chilling cry of distant Bees, desecrating all things sacred to virtuous men, and perpetuating an evil that would reign for centuries to come. Our heroes would've lived unhappily ever after, but they were too busy being dead. So, no one lived forever after, the end. :'( Edit
Last Edit: Dec 7, 2013 8:45:16 GMT -8 by grathlong
Post by willydigger. FB inFamous on Dec 7, 2013 6:43:45 GMT -8
I look like StonePaw's avatar.
That Smurfing Forum is no bueno and HI SPONGBOB. - Kilroy Psychosis is refreshing like a cool glass o' lemonade. - T. YOU HAVE MY AXE, WILLARD DIGGERD OF WESTEROS, FIRST SON OF THE FROG KING - Q Where is the satisfaction in watching other people accomplish things? - Short Make woopy, make waffles make like the wind. - Roy
Okay, looks like only 7 entries. UK give this til noonEST today (4 more hours) then I'll randomly pic a winner. If you are in a giving mod can you read through this and make sure I didn't miss anyone or put the wrong person in or anything?